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An Open Letter to Bill Simmons

An Open Letter to Bill Simmons
Dear Sports Guy:
I represent a San Francisco Giants blog (www.24daysofmagic.com) and its readers.  I know you’re a busy guy, so let me get straight to the point. 

How can there be an ESPNBoston.com, ESPNChicago.com, and ESPNDallas.com but no ESPNBayArea.com? 

The Bay Area has more NBA/MLB/NFL teams than any other metropolitan area in the country other than New York.  And I got a hold of the application for “Regional ESPN Member Status” and it supports my cause:

HOW MANY PRO TEAMS IN THE MAJOR 3 SPORTS DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR AREA?:
Bay Area: 5 (6 if you count the Kings, which we did back when they didn’t suck)
Boston: 3
Chicago: 4
Dallas: 3 (4 if you count the Longhorns.  Define “pro.”  I mean, they all get paid.)
  
WORLD SERIES TITLES IN PAST 93 YEARS
Bay Area: 5 (thanks, Oakland)
Boston: 3 (somewhat spread out, I guess you could say)
Chicago: 1 (damn goat)
Dallas:  0

SUPER BOWL TITLES
Bay Area: 7
Boston:  3
Chicago:  1
Dallas: 5
 
WOULD YOUR LOCAL FORMER FIRST-LADY KNIT DURING THE WORLD SERIES WHILE SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW?
Bay Area:  No way.
Boston:  Are you kidding?
Chicago:  Not a chance.
Dallas:  Yes.
I’m not bringing this to you to rant against “East Coast Media Bias” or to guilt you for the failures of your employer.  Actually, I really appreciate the respect you’ve recently given to Giants fans, the SF-LA rivalry, and Warriors fans.  As such, I think you are the perfect person to take our cause to the top.  Which I guess would mean taking it to Walt Disney himself.  While you’re there, please ask him about all those perverted hidden messages in his movies because I have a little toddler at home and I don’t want her to watch the Lion King until I can be sure that the dirt doesn’t really spell “sex.”
I think the conversation could go something like this:

Bill:  We should have an ESPNBayArea.com
Bill’s boss:  Why?
Bill:  Because I have 1.3 million followers on Twitter and I said so.

There are 6-7 million of us imploring you to take up our cause.  And anytime you want to breathe clean air, spend less time in traffic, and watch some sports teams that have real fans, feel free to relocate your family up north.  You can still watch Blake Griffin twice a year and you’ll never have to worry about accidentally running into Ron Artest on the street. 

Sincerely,
Andy
24 Days of Magic


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The best under-the-radar rivalry is Dodgers-Giants. I had no idea how deep that one was until I moved to California... that one goes waaaaaaaaay back and both sides absolutely detest each other. Fights in the stands, fights in the parking lot, the whole thing. It's every bit as bitter as Yankees-Red Sox without nearly the same hype.

-Bill Simmons, January 21, 2011

Almost, Bill.  Both sides don't detest each other.  We detest them.  Dodger fans detest traffic and not being photographed from their "good side."