Yesterday, Eric Surkamp struck out Bryce Harper.  Twice.

The second time, poor little Bryce threw a tantrum.

Here's the video.

I wasn't in Harrisburg yesterday because I was busy sobbing uncontrollably about the Giants, so I don't have the exact dialogue from the whole incident, but apparently all the people involved were wearing mics.  What luck!  And somebody sent me the audio!  And I transcribed it!

Surkamp:  What pitch should I throw here.  Hmmm.  Maybe......THAT one! (throws pitch)

Umpire:  STRIKE 3!

Harper:  What?  No!  You're wrong!  It's not a strike!  It's not a strike!  I don't strike out!  I'm Bryce Harper!  Don't you know who I am?  Huh?  I wear crazy eye black!  I hit homeruns!  I'm a national phenom!  I'm the next LeBron James!  I like the Cowboys, Lakers, and Yankees!  I'm an international star!  And who are you?  You're nothing.  NOTHING!

Umpire:  You're gone.

Surkamp:  That's why I have a fan club and you don't, you little b****.


Eric's line for the night: 7.2ip, 4h, 1er, 1bb, 9k

My wife after watching the video:  "That's why nobody should be that good that young."

Me: "I don't know why he was even arguing.  Eric Surkamp doesn't throw balls."

Note for Members of National Media Reading My Blog:  Eric Surkamp did not actually call Bryce Harper a b****.  Eric Surkamp has never uttered a swear word in his life, nor has he ever sinned.  Please contact Eric Surkamp directly if you wish to get his take on this incident.  Or contact his new agent, Scott Boras.  Note: his new agent is not really Scott Boras.  Please feel free to contact Scott Boras to confirm this non-truth.  Also, please note that Eric Surkamp is so good, he has his own fan club.  Please write a 700-word article about this fan club including interviews with members such as "Pam in Cincinnati" and "Brandon Crawford."  Please note that Brandon Crawford is a professional baseball player.  Please note that he makes 6 million dollars less per year than Miguel Tejada.  Please note that Brian Sabean is a dork.