The great thing about owning MLB Extra Innings is that you can watch other teams play baseball.  Because watching the Giants is not my idea of a good time these days.  I mean, let's face it.  The Giants suck.

They can't hit, and now they occasionally can't pitch.  They also aren't great fielders, although I don't know if statistics back that up.

And it's not just that they can't hit, it's that they go out of their way to frustrate their fans with their hitting.  When my wife came home in the 5th inning last night and watched an inning that featured, I believe, an Orlando Cabrera quadruple play, I turned to her and said:

"Don't worry.  That was only the 4th most frustrating inning so far."

I have some complaints I'd like to share:

1. Why does Aaron Rowand ever play?  I know I like Torres better than most and my claim that his numbers are climbing is the kind of claim that I would dismiss were it made by a dumber person than me about a player I don't like, such as, say, Aaron Rowand.  But the fact is that Torres' numbers are climbing.

Andres Torres OPS on July 6:  .664

Andres Torres OPS Today: .670


Here's my other issue with Rowand playing.  Right now, Pat Burrell is "hurt" the same way Zito is "hurt" and Tejada is "hurt."  They're hurt the same way I was "sick" and had to miss school on Opening Day in 1992, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, and 2000.  I wanted to be sick in 2001 but I was in college 3000 miles away from San Francisco and nobody had invented teleportation yet which really pissed me off.

Anyway, so Burrell is hurt and, according to my friend who lives in his neighborhood, spends his days watching the Giants games at bars and cursing when they do badly.  So, like, every inning.

Check out these two slash lines and see if you can figure out which one is Pat Burrell and which one is Aaron Rowand:

.233 / .342 / .419

.245 / .289 / .372

The first one is Burrell.  And in case you just started watching baseball, yes, the last two numbers are much more important than the first one.

2. Why can't Tim Lincecum pitch every day?  I've been to two games this year, including this past Sunday, and Tim Lincecum pitched both games.  And we won both games.  Sooooo.....what's the problem here?

3. Why can't Sergio Romo learn to hit?  He's clearly amazing at pitching.  Time to branch out.

But getting back to Extra Innings.  Yesterday, I was about ready to throw something at the television or to throw the television at something.  I hadn't decided yet.  But then I remembered the Diamondbacks were losing 9-1 to a team that was historically bad before they traded away their #1, #2, and #3 hitters.  So I flipped to that game just in time to see an inning ending double play and hear the whiny sadness of the Dback announcers.  Ha!  Take that!

Because every time I get sad, see, I remember that although we might suck, the Diamondbacks suck more.  And the Rockies suck more than that, and the Padres more than that and, in turn, the Dodgers more than that.  It's a good feeling.

But there's an even better feeling to keep us warm in the foggy, cold, horrors of early August, a feeling even better than the reminder that even though it might not feel like it, Aubrey Huff is actually hitting .320 in his last 15 games or so.

It's a feeling that should make all of us smile, and maybe even laugh diabolically inside, if you're into that kind of thing.


Here's the secret.

We sucked last year too.

Last year, we lost two different games in which the other team got only 1 hit.  A guy we picked up off the waiver-wire in August was our cleanup hitter in the NLCS.  At one point, Todd Wellemeyer played for us.  Oh, make no mistake.  We sucked.

Don't tell the Rangers, Phillies, Braves, or Brewers.  Don't tell ESPN.  Don't tell the Red Sox or the Yankees.

Let them find out in October.