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Well, just another day at this humble blog, where we were the FIRST "media outlet" to break the news that Eric Surkamp will be the Giants' starting pitcher on Saturday.  And let's be honest....calling us a media outlet is kind of like calling the Dodgers an average baseball team.  It's a little bit of a stretch.

Most importantly, it goes without saying that we are really excited for Eric Surkamp.  Eric was extremely generous with his time and let us interview him even though he could probably tell this blog is not exactly the New York Times.  Eric was genuine, down-to-earth, and honest in the interview, and he even said "Beat LA."  In short, he is cool.  So congratulations, Eric!

Now it's time for you, a professional baseball player, to get some advice from me, a partially employed graduate student who batted .238 in his final year of little league and once made 4 errors in one inning.

1. Show some fire.
All the Giants fans who matter are still completely convinced that this team can make the playoffs, and the fans who matter and are intelligent realize that once the Giants make the playoffs, their pitching staff gives them a legitimate chance to win everything.  But things are bad right now.  We need a spark.  Just a little fist pump or a well-timed primal scream will endear you to the home fans.  Show that you care.

2. It's not your fault if you lose 2-1.
We lose 2-1 a lot.  It happens.  If you lose 2-1, it's not your fault and everyone will forgive you.  What they won't forgive is if you lose 18-14.  We only have so many 14-run games left in us and we don't want to waste one.

3.  Show love to your fan club
When you strike out your first batter, show us a sign that you love us.  Tug your ear.  Take off your hat and then put it back on.  Do a River Dance.  Slap your glove.  Right now there are 70 people who joined your fan club before you were good.  When you started the season, you were probably the 9th option for starting pitcher.  Now you are #5.  And after you kick ass tomorrow, your fan club will begin to grow exponentially.  But the people in there now are the ones who loved you for who you are.  Or something.  Wow, that sounds creepy.

4. Give up on finding skyline chili in the Bay Area, you'll have to settle for Hormel's Chile with No Beans, which I think has MSG in it, sorry.

5. But we do have, you know, a few good restaurants.

6. Enjoy it.
When you take the mound and get a huge round of applause from 42,000 people, it's going to be a moment you never forget.  Like all of us when the Giants own the World Series, but like 100 times cooler because you weren't sitting on a couch with a pillow over your face yelling "oh dear God please don't let them blow it, not this time, Lord, I'll go to church!  I'll stop stealing IPods from Japanese tourists!  I'll be good!  Oh just this once let us not screw up!"  So...um....what was I saying again?  Oh yeah.  Enjoy it.

You've earned it.

Oh, and you gotta love not having a picture of a rodent with a bushy tail on your jersey for once.