logo

Henry Schulman, who by the way I once drove to BART from a guest speaking appearance and he's very nice, is reporting that I am an excellent driver and that he would, indeed, let me drive slow in the driveway, definitely.

No, he's reporting that the Giants are close to resigning Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper to six-year contracts that will carry them into their mid-60's. Or, as Vin Scully calls it, "the 1950's."
Hahaha. Get it? See, because....sorry.

This is definitely welcome news in Giants Land, where the pair are universally beloved except by my dad who thinks Krukow is a doofus. Giants fans seem to have an unusual affection for their announcers, either because they have good announcers (Jon Miller) or because for the past six years before this past season, it was either have an affection for the announcer or for Ray Durham and Dan Ortmeier.

My take is a little different from most. Nobody is better than Jon Miller, and not just because I did yoga with him in his home once. (True story. I have witnesses.) This year, anyone who was listening to the Giants-Marlins game in Miami in May and heard Jon pretend he was at a golf tournament (because it was so empty and quiet) knows that Jon Miller is the best. And Dave Fleming is fine, despite his choice of Alma mater.

With Kruk and Kuip, I don't feel the unbridled admiration that others do. I think they are funny, but I don't think "eliminating" people on TV is really that creative. "Grab some pine, meat," is a good line. Krukow doesn't seem to really add much outside of pitching knowledge. Overall, I like them and I'm glad they are Giants announcers but I'm not going to go crazy over them the way some Giants fans do.

But here's the thing. I have MLB Extra Innings at home. The Red Sox fans in my family demand it because the 48 times a year their team is on ESPN isn't enough for them. And let me tell you, compared to 95% of the announcers out there, Kruk and Kuip are fantastic.

There are the Nationals announcers who are peppy to the point of absurdity. The Rays announcers who sound like they are announcing a high school football game (I can't explain why they sound that way, but I promise you it's true). The White Sox yahoo who yells "you can put it on the boarddddddddddddd....YES! Good guys 4, Bad guys 2!" The Rockies announcers who...ok, there's probably nothing wrong with them, but they annoy me anyway because they go "Tulo! Cargo! Tulo! Cargo!" like every five seconds.

Announcing a baseball game is difficult, and Krukow and Kuiper are some of the best, even if they aren't even the best announcers for their own team.

So welcome back, guys. I look forward to hearing you tell Andre Ethier to grab some pine on opening day....meat.